somewhere over the rainbow;

Monday, July 30, 2007

I LOVE SPREE!!!

Thanks Jas! for introducing that to me!
its also you who brought me into the Friendster world too haha..!

Spree-ing really keeps me occupied...!!
i didnt even know 3 hours had past!
(*clears throat* except i visited the toilet too...)

okie.. so mayb 2 hrs plus.
haha especially when the discount ends today and i gotta quickly order, my heart beats very fast! (yeay does that mean im ACTUALLY exercising??? =P)

But when i set my eyes on something, and there's NO STOCK, its so disappointing!
i get the same feeling (though not disappointing) when im trying to book classes for the school year and there's no space in the class..
Heart pumping in anticipation, after choosing something i was satisfied with..
NO STOCK! =(

But there are many pair of shoes (today im shoe spree-ing!) so i can take my pick! =)
shopping in the comfort of my house.. =))

i love spree! haha and the day jus slips by..

Getting 2 pairs for now! =)
i haven't gotten down to the paying part. HAHAH.

SOME PAIRS FROM THE SPREE :

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

i do love shoes. and sprees.

=))

only illusions;

4:41 PM

hey peeps!

im feeling better! though my stomach is still queasy..

and i have YET to visit the toilet. (anticipating THE moment when the time comes.) =))

Thanks so much to all of you, your love n concern thru your phone calls n msges!

you know who you are, and i remember you all in my heart!

n not blaming me for spoiling plans too! =)

also hugs to my family...

sis, who accompanied me at my weakest patiently....

mum, who took care of me....

n dad, it jus makes me smile to see you.. =)

And never to forget...

God.... He answered my prayer n healed me.. =))

im so thankful! and i shall put Him first.

i thank Him for teaching me too..

*winks!* rq n law,thanks for reminding me!

only illusions;

2:17 AM

recommendation.

toa payoh ave??
block 94
speciality? chicken rice
chicken type? you ji (oil chicken)
price? jus try lah.. =)

looks like?

THIS.

warning : dont eat this on an empty stomach. its really oily. i've suffered. =(

26Jul07 THURSDAY

today's a BACK-TO-SRJC day!
sad cos fang couldn't join... =(

but yup, elin n jas met at my house first to get into our gear..
UNIFORMS!

it was after lunch so we figured we could jus walk in... with no guilt at all!
haha =)

FORBIDDEN: heavy makeup, done up nails, eye-catching earrings...
aiyah they dun care also lah. hahaha

our main motive was to go in and eat!
jas's craving : spaghetti in horfun sauce!
elin's craving : half spaghetti, half horfun!
clar's craving : my cai fan!

jas n elin didnt get what they want..no more horfun or horfun sauce! =(
though i did get what i want, i suspected this to cause me to be down sick the nex day. =((
(more on that lata)

elin's head so small can! haha

at the table... =) with drinks bought my our servant-JAS.

haha jas looks exactly the same!

her territory.

*random* =)

wonder if any juniors walk around thinking who are these weird pple who keep taking pictures n laughing at things they cant understand?? *heeheehee*
i once exclaimed - "hey that is new!"
haha and the uncle there was staring suspiciously at me.. hahaha

remininscing !! *cracks me up!!*

alrights! hope to be back here soon! n see the juniors in action!
with our fish fang too!! =))

yups friday was down sick. the whole of sat too. =((
it really sucks to be down. cos you not only cant do the things you intended to do, you also cant do things like eating more than 3 mouths of noodles.. or sitting up for more than 5minutes without sinking down again..

screwed up my plans of gg with jas to toa payoh to see the agent n walk for wedges,
lead songs for cell and sat's rangers..and pei-ing fang...
and feel really bad to all of them..
sorry jas.. we'll go this coming week yup! =) i promise!
and to the rest.. must arrange again.. sorry again!
though i know my presence is not like the surviving tool lah.. haha

meet up with all soon yeps! =))

only illusions;

1:50 AM

25Jul07 WEDNESDAY

today met up with elin first to sign up for some HT job...
i was thinking, okie. we only have to walk thru some shops n HDBs to the place,
enter some rent-bike-like shop n give in our passport photo and we're secured a job!
though not say good paying, but well...not too bad too..

in the end, we took a bus to a totally unfamiliar place with jus one line of the address and walked round n round b4 we got to this forsaken area right at the end of nowhere.
54serangoon north ave 4! (this add is stuck in my brain)

sorry elin..your pics not here cos i cant upload! sorriee.....

alrights we reached there after an ardous journey only to be told that there's no more positions but we can fill up an application form for future opportunities.
haiz.

b4 leaving that forsaken placee...

haha! very retarded lehh elinn!!!!

SIGH. haha i looked pretty excited.

back to serangoon....
i wasnt feeling well so had some panadols with me..n ms wong, the queen of poses...

haha elin dun blame me.. who ask you only take one pic...

love baby!

after that met jas-see!!
haha went shopping and spent alot of time in far east!
oops n sorry jas..didnt warn you about the horrible pearls...
but thats cheaper than taka's bubble tea mah...help you save! =))

and after walking all over town..TOWN...(emphasize)
jas bought 1. printer ink 2. nail polish REMOVER
haha! we didnt walk in heartland leh!
okie lah like i bought alot of things. only got a pair of shorts n nail polish.. =)
~good enough!~

love meeting my babes!
must meet fang soon yea!
a day with cramps n aches....i really had feet cramp.....

haha jas was saying we're back to the -meet-jas/clar-everyday-day-...
we always head town..so jas always can get off after 2 stops......
BooHooHoo~=(
haha.

only illusions;

11:40 PM

today i cut my hair.
in a house in those HDB flats type..
an elder lady cut for me..
2nd floor...
next to SRJC..

ehh??

*HAHAHAHA*

its in my house lahh!
asked my mum cut for me!
sth which i promised never to do since the age of 14..
but anyways she did quite a good job!
yups haha jus felt good cos i know probably elin or who will go---
Huh?

BOO!!

only illusions;

7:09 PM

God's Help in the Tough Times
by Dale and Juanita Ryan

"Tough" hardly seems an adequate word. Words fail completely to describe the most difficult moments in the recovery process. Recovery has many valleys. Some days we walk through the "valley of the shadow of death." In the darkness and disorientation of those valleys we may find ourselves filled with despair.

There are times in recovery when it feels as if all we have are tough times. We fear getting lost in the valley and never finding our way out again. We struggle with feelings more intense than any we have experienced before. We struggle with cravings for the substance or behavior to which we are addicted.

Scripture offers us courage and hope in the times of our greatest fear and despair. Scripture tells us that God is with us in our darkest moments. We can walk through the valley of the shadow of death because God walks with us. He protects us. He leads us through the valleys.

May God fill you with the comfort which comes from knowing he is with you even in the toughest times.

God Comforts Me

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Many of us struggle with fear. The words "do not fear" seem like a simple command. God says "do not fear". It looks like a simple imperative. Our job is simply to obey. But, we cannot seem to obey. No matter how hard we try not to be afraid, we cannot seem to make our fears go away.

The key to understanding texts of this kind is to see that when God says 'do not fear', it is not a simple imperative from an authority figure. The words "do not fear" are spoken as words of comfort. They are followed by a specific promise of God's presence with us.

A loving parent speaks to a child who awakens from a nightmare with words such as, "Don't be afraid. I'm here with you. You are safe." This is not a rejection of the child's fears. It is not an instruction to do the impossible. It is, rather, a promise of protection. If a parent says only "Don't be afraid," then the child learns that the parent doesn't understand and the child feels unprotected. But if the parent says "Don't be afraid, I'm here with you," the child's needs are validated and the child is comforted by the parent's protection.

God comforts us in the way a loving parent comforts a frightened child. God says to us, "I know that you are afraid; but I also want you to know that I am here with you. I will not leave you. I will give you strength. I will give you help. I will hold you by the hand so that you will not fall".

You know, God,
how often I am afraid.
And you know the soil in which these fears have grown.
And you know how I have struggled to be free from fear.
Help me to draw courage today from your presence.
Be with me.
Give me strength.
Help me.
Uphold me with your hand.
Still my fears, God of all Comfort.
Still my fears with your powerful love.
Amen.

God guards my heart

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:20

The peace of God is not a 'blissed out' euphoria that helps us minimize or ignore our problems. God's peace does not participate in denial. This peace is not another Novocain, another 'fix' to alter our mood. It is the gentle guard that protects us so that we can face reality. It is the security that comes from knowing that God pays attention, that we are not forgotten, that God is with us, that we are loved.

God walks with me in the valleys

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm 23:4

God has made a very specific promise to us when we are going through the most difficult of life's struggles. He has promised to be with us. It's hard to say how God's presence will be made known. Our subjective experience of his presence may vary widely. Sometimes when we least expect it, we may hear the still, small voice of God saying "I am here". Sometimes God will use a friend, a sponsor, a counselor, or someone in a support group to speak to us in ways that help us to remember that we are not alone. Sometimes he will give us a peace that needs no words.

The important reality is that God is with us. God does not come and go in the way our experience of his presence comes and goes. He does not forsake us. He walks with us. Even through deep valleys.

God is with me in the depths

If I go to the heavens, you are there;If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. Psalm 139:8

Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us. Sometimes we hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again. Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted, a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'. There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey. There are no places unfamiliar to God. It is a difficult and painful journey, but our lines of support are not stretched thin. God is not at a distance. He is with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those times in hell. If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.

No matter where I am, Lord
you are with me.
If I am up, today.
You are here.
If I am down.
You are here.
If I am very, very down.
You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down.
You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope
in the dark times of my recovery.
Amen.

God prays for me

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26

When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit most of all.

It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. He does not shame us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to him. Our weakness is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us. He is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. He knows the pain that crushes us. He helps us in our weakness.

In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for us. He prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit is praying for us.

God protects me

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. Isaiah 43:2

There are times in the recovery process when it feels like we will drown in sorrow. The losses, the betrayals, the failures threaten to overwhelm us. The intensity of the emotional pain frightens us in times like this. We feel ourselves loosing ground as life swirls around us.

This text states with great clarity two central truths which are critical to our survival in times like this. First, God has made a very specific promise to us. He says "I will be with you." This may not always be what we want. We may want God to take the floods of life away. We may want God to build dams upstream in life so that the danger of flood is diminished. But, his promise is clear. I will be with you.

Secondly, this text says very clearly "When you pass through the waters, they will not sweep over you." God will protect us and see us through. There are times in recovery when there just doesn't seem to be any way to make it. Nothing is more painful in these times than to have someone who stands at a distance express optimism about our recovery in a way that minimizes the struggle. ["Oh, you're going to be fine. Stop worrying about it."] Conversely, nothing is more valuable in these times than to have someone with us who sees the danger clearly but who is able to be hopeful for us and protect us and see us through

God leads me when I can't see

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them, I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do;I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16

During recovery we often feel sightless and disoriented. Our abilities to see clearly are often very limited - we don't have enough distance on things to give proper perspective. Denial leaves us blind. Rejected emotions and ignored human needs can also contribute to spiritual and psychological blindness.

So many things in recovery are unfamiliar to us. We are not accustomed to feeling what we feel, to talking about our experiences, or to trusting other people. Honesty is new territory for us. All of this is not only unfamiliar territory, it is scary territory as well.

But it is exactly to people like us that God makes promises. God makes promises to sightless and disoriented people. He will guide. He will give light. He will smooth the rough places. He will not abandon.

Recovery is like riding a bicycle: you won't fall off unless you stop pedaling.

For anyone who's lost, or in despair, know this for a fact.
That there is a God.
And He is so mighty.
He is a Protector of our souls.
He has led us out of the darkness, the deepest valleys, and gave us comfort in our anguish and sorrows.

And i'm so glad that i can trust in Him.
You can too. =)

only illusions;

11:17 PM

DIE HARD 4.0

ACTION PACKED
BOTH TUNNEL GATES OPENED, LIGHTS GO OUT,CARS FLIP IN THE DARKNESS
HARD FOR BRUCE TO DIE.
WHICH HE DOESN'T

HAHA OVERALL, GREAT!

felt quite tired after all the action.

walked with aunt,loved it, taka having food festival, enticed by food.met sis,nice day. =)

only illusions;

9:43 PM

19July2007 THURSDAY

today met up with my darlings! =)

yups so glad that fang could make it at the end!
today was pei-ing Jas look around for pressies for her colleagues and aimlessly around Bugis..
haha secretly i was thinking if we would spot some superstar..
haha since the other time, we saw rainie.. hahaha

and goodness, so many disney princess things we saw and elin kept saying, "okie clar you get this for me ah.."

haha its up to me so mayb you should stop saying my cam takes low quality pics til oct! haha!
im good with threats ah.. not jus boo.. hahaha!!!

haha this is new but its here jus cos its pink.

im so sorry for this silly pic.. its ~pink~ lah...

but anw had a sweet day with my pretties and yup!

they're like that cos im not taking with them. aww hahaha

darlings =)

see you all soon yups! =))

20July2007 FRIDAY

today is a Bugis day again. haha

went to Bugis with sis..with absolutely no intention to spend money except on food..

oops. guess i said too fast.

today's an earrings day for me! haha

okie lah and i thought of more things to shop for. okies shall spend soon i guess. =)

only illusions;

1:36 AM

18July2007 WEDNESDAY

ITS CHOMPING TIME~!!! =)

*slurp!*

haha today met Jiamin, Gladys nd Elin to go Chomp Chomp for dinner!
And Jiamin suggested bringing our photo albums to share!
*haha we have to follow what he says...*

Yups anw this is the GLORIOUS FOOD!!!!!
*hey.. this sounds like the lyrics from the vultures singing in ICE AGE 2!*

FOODIE CONTESTANT ONE : HOKKIEN MEE
FOODIE CONTESTANT TWO : PORK AND MUTTON SATAY WITH THE ABSOLUTELY YUMMY PEANUT SAUCE!!
FOODIE CONTESTANT THREE : DEELICIOUS CHICKEN WINGS!
FOODIE CONTESTANT FOUR : CARROT CAKE
FOODIE CONTESTANT FIVE : STINGRAY!!!!!!!

AND THE WINNER OF THE FOODIES AT CHOMP..........................................

*DRUMROLL!!!!!*

.......................................................................................................................................

hey! actually we couldn't decide!
haha oops!
cos it was between the chicken wings, the stingray and the satay!

but i personally liked the satay very much..

SATAY, you'll ALWAYS BE MY SUPERSTAR!! *bimbo*

ZZZZZZZZ.......... please do not ever link me up to be like Cel**t and say i like her x* b**
pleasee!!!!
*Jas i still remember how you announced that in the train! Arh!!!*
~throw face throw dead already~ as in ~diu lian diu si le!~

haha okies anyway.. we were enjoying the food alot!! it was really yummy man!
And Jiamin was affecting everyone with his -EAT-WITH-YOUR-HANDS-AND-YOUR-NOSE-WILL-START-TO-ITCH- SYNDROME...

gladys and elin started to itch ah!
haha its abit eerie......... woooo......

im strong! =)

MR AND MRS WANG wang4(gaze at) the food....

can see MRS WANG cant take her eyes off the food.... hahahahaha!
*SING!~~you're just too good to be true...cant take my eyes off you..~~*

gladys : EH why you POKE ME!!!

I WILL FIGHT YOU, POKER!!

we're the BROWNIE GIRLS!

the critics give it a THUMBS-UP!

i guess this says it all... =)))
YUMMY!

NEXT UP!

HOW CAN WE END THE NIGHT WITHOUT DESSERT MAN!!

ICE-CUBE!

spoilt for choice. =)

i want this! no no i want this!
(her mental struggle...) wahaha

mr wang to mrs wang : have no worries, my wife.. i will buy ALL for you!

*okie sorry im making this up..* =P

we ordered a ring of fire and a waffle with caramel syrup! YUMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!

while waiting....

me taking elin taking me...

come on, lets battle..!

me taking elin taking me..

elin taking me taking her but im still free to pose for her... :-)

RING OF FIRE!
with 1.super cheesy strawberry cheesecake icecream 2.cookies and creme 3.brownie 4.mint(which taste like feng you! the medicated oil!) 5.super chocolate with chocolate cake,chocolate,and syrup or whatever flavour 6.peanut butter 7.malt flavour 8.(i forgot the last flavour)

YUM YUM YUMMY!
i jus like caramel lah.. =)))

with some gorgeous ice-cream...

cant wait to dig in...

gladys and me... =)

the two MINs.... hehe

my lovely elin..

cant stop snapping..

the lighting is making us look weird..

haha the last to be finished is the feng-you-mint!
that became a punishment!
so we had to scissors paper stone..!
loser eats!

me n jiamin escaped the first round!
it was either elin or gladys!
elin whoops YES!!

gladys lost the first round...

still have alot of mint! nex round!
OH NO! its between me n gladys!!

i lost the first round!!

SO NOW WE STARTED TO THINK THE BATTLE STRATEGY...
so if she put stone, nex she'll think i will put............

ah failed! same strategy!

haha jiamin was saying i very li hai with strategy.. haha cos he lost at my hands b4.... hohoho

YES! I WIN!

haha poor gladys..

have to eat feng-you again...

but anw there was still a glob left so i jus finished it... *yikes*
i wonder how they can make delicious mint taste like feng-you.
*shakes head*

haha it was photo time!!
jiamin asked us to bring 2 albums...but i missed that part and brought 6! ARH!

trying to guess where's elin among the little kids with kindergarten uniforms...

still trying to figure out...

elin is jus watching on... i think she's amused.. haha

after that some people left the lounge area so we attacked the seats!

this is Jiamin~classic.
we were laughing at his background... very out-dated!
normally we have trains and all..his was jus some sky and clouds...
and he looks very funny!!
CLASSIC!

haha i shall not put up gladys and my same pants pics.... haha but that one is very funny!
giordano designs are not always nice, especially in the 1990's.... =X

i had no idea but me n sis seemed to have a series of photos that we would take with our mouths wide open! i guess that was the trend of taking pictures??

like this.

and this.

and this. HEY my aunt's doing it too!

haha okie i think that's enough..

so we had to take one with our mouths all like that!
after many tries, and mouths going to get cramps, and adjusting our spacing from each other to make the picture look uniform.. (the bottom left one)

our pics b4 leaving!

haha the ugly one(top right) is very scary!

yup so we were planning to give jiamin n gladys the puzzle and not making them suspicious..
but had to lure them back to serangoon where the loot was kept in elin's house...
when we reached serangoon, me n elin didnt know how to lure them to her block..
LUCKY! jiamin says we walk elin home!
YEAY!!

they were very surprised to receive the jigsaws!!
elin n i were happy, cos they appreciate it mah.. =))

gladys kept saying..
"Marie is very pretty!!!!"
hahaha.....

=)))

yup anyway den we forced elin to go upstairs to her balcony and wave bye bye..
elin was very reluctant lah but she still did it.. finally! i always ask her to do it..

haha and jiamin is VERY CHILDISH.
while we were waiting for elin to go up, we were nex to the lift and one elderly woman pressed for the lift.

WHEN SHE ENTERED THE LIFT, AND THE LIFT DOOR WAS ABOUT TO CLOSE,
MR CHILDISH DID THIS.

HE STOMP THE GROUND AND POINTED HIS FINGER UPWARDS AND GAVE A SHOCK EXPRESSION AND EXCLAIMED LOUDLY---

"WHAT IS THAT?!"

WHEN THERE WAS NOTHING.

HE PURPOSELY DID THAT COS HE SAID..
den the old lady will like... "aiyah! why press the lift so fast? i missed out seeing something!"

VERY CHILDISH LEHH......HAHAHA!!

and then we were talking about whether we ran for buses b4 and i was recounting to them how i chased the bus on the 2nd day of the Expo job and he says..

FAMOUS QUOTE OF CHILDISH JIAMIN.

WHEN YOU'RE RUNNING FOR THE BUS, AND YOU CANT CATCH IT, YOU CANNOT STOP WHEN YOU REALISE YOU CANT CATCH IT.

YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE RUNNING.. RUN TO THE BACK SOMEWHERE AND THEN DISCREETLY COME BACK TO THE BUS STOP FROM THE BACK.
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE AT THE BUS STOP WILL LAUGH AND POINT AT YOU COS YOU COULDN'T CATCH THE BUS.

HAIZ. haha last time i will feel very paiseh.. but when jiamin says that, it becomes a jiamin quote lah..

AND HE SAYS : that time he n gladys was on a bus, and from the 2nd deck, they saw this guy who was trying to play a prank on the people below at the bus stop..
that guy looked at one person below, and obviously that person dun know him, and he started doing the gestures - "hey hello! remember to call me ah! you know my number?" all that..
and of course the poor person below was like looking around, wondering who that mad man is talking to..

oh yah they waited with me for bus. they very nice ah!

yup den my bus came.
and mr jiamin did that to me.
gesture" you know my number , call me ah!"

*shake head*

okie lah but its been very fun!!
meet you all up soon!! =)))

only illusions;

5:02 PM